Revenge of the Sackbut Nerds!
I'm not Nick Hornby, but I too learned some things about relationship building from working in a record store.
Back in the late 1990s and early 2000s, I worked at a classical music record store in Rotterdam. Yeah, I know that sounds pretty niche in 2024, but believe it or not, that business model WORKED back then. What always struck me was how the guys running the place built these seemingly deep relationships with their customers. Were they just customers, or had they become friends? The lines were blurred, and that seemed to have been the magic that made the place work.
We had collectors, aficionados, fanboys (a few opera stars had followers whose behavior today would be deemed, erm, problematic?), nerds who really dug only the 1554 in sackbut music, you name it (and yes, I was one of the nerds). Lots of different characters walked through those doors and were met with a recognition that we liked the same things and an eager willingness to meet their needs. The essence of working in these specialty shops: building a type of limited friendship based on shared interests and understanding the wants, needs, and desires of the customer.
To state the obvious (and if you know me, you could have seen this coming two miles away through the fog, walking backwards up a snowy mountain), cognitive empathy probably played a huge role in how we developed those relationships.
Contrary to Popular Belief, it Hasn’t Disappeared
Fast forward 30 years, and the landscape has drastically changed. The internet took over, streaming platforms became the norm, social media exploded, and mass retail wiped out many of these intimate experiences. That kind of personal connection almost feels like a lost art now.
I write ALMOST, because I know of an example of a decidedly 2024 business has fully embraced the personal relationship aspect of specialty retail at scale. If you're into music production or play an instrument, you probably know exactly which company I'm talking about. It’s Sweetwater, the Fort Wayne, IN based online retailer of music production equipment, instruments, and other music stuff. The moment you order something from Sweetwater or ask a question on their website, a real person reaches out. They'll call or text you almost immediately, answering questions, giving you shipping updates, and basically being your go-to helpdesk.
They call this the dedicated sales engineer. The feeling that a real person cares about you, knows your goals, and is using their experience to help you IS what makes this work. They make you feel like someone is on your side, actually listening, and responding to what you need. Some might say that's just good sales(wo)manship, but I think it goes deeper. It mimics that limited friendship model that worked so well in the specialty shops and scales it to online sales. And I think it helps them keep customers.
Contrast that with the usual customer service grind: getting stuck in endless loops, yelling "Representative!" at some automated system that doesn't get your idiosyncratic problem because it's designed for run of the mill issues. No, just, no, I can’t even…
Now I can HEAR you think: OK, Bout, again, what does this have to do with fundraising?
So why am I bringing up Sweetwater and not my local record store (shoutout to Landlocked Music and LUNA) or comic book store (heyo, Vintage Phoenix)? Because to me Sweetwater's approach is similar to the kind of approach large nonprofits need to take when it comes to building their donor base, more so than smaller nonprofits.
In an earlier post, I talked about how gift officers are incentivized to chase where the money is today, rather than where it might be tomorrow. We've reserved that individual treatment in larger nonprofits for those donors who can make the biggest gifts within the next 18 months or so. This is, mostly, for good reason: it's because we have limited resources and need to meet fundraising goals now, and we can spend our major gift fundraisers’ time only once.
But by doing so, we're probably missing out on long-term returns that come from relationships built over time. And I think that's a mistake we’re seeing made in real-time with donor numbers dwindling. Although there are many reasons why the number of donors is going down, I would bet that our limited engagement of younger donors is part of it.
Instead, we should be building personal relationships with donors who want that connection at every level of the donor pyramid, not just at the top. We need to lean into tools that help us make time and find the people among our donors who want that personal connection, develop these relationships with empathy and a desire to find out what the donor wants out of their giving, and build a friendship that is based on alignment around interests, values, mission, etc.
Here’s why:
Doing so democratizes real human connection in philanthropy: by extending personalized interactions to donors of all levels, we foster a more inclusive and engaging philanthropic community. Expanding this approach to donors who are not yet at that level, may be what is needed to help get them there, and build the bench of donors who might make Transformational gifts someday.
Personal relationships with donors work: personal relationships have consistently shown positive results in fundraising. This is as true for major donors as it is for donors who give $10 and everyone in between.
It aligns with what younger donors may want: especially younger donors are more individualistic in their giving strategies and more interested in the tangible impact of their contributions. Personal connections help communicate this more effectively than generalized mass communication.
Helping Donors with What They Care About: Understanding and addressing the specific interests of donors not only meets their needs but also strengthens their commitment to the cause. At the same time, as a fundraiser you may learn things that help the organization become more effective in achieving its mission.
The above is about making donors feel valued, heard, and understood, no matter the size of their contribution. In doing so, we don't just enhance their experience, we build lasting relationships that benefit the cause and the donor over a longer period of time.
Although I want to be careful not to equate fundraising with sales too much, I think emphasizing relationship building, like Sweetwater is doing in the online retail space, makes a lot of sense in the nonprofit world.
The essence of specialty retail as I learned to practice it in the record store, building relationships through personalized service, isn't just a nostalgic memory. In my mind it's a viable strategy for nonprofits, as has been shown at the sharp pointy end of the donor pyramid. In a world where automation often replaces human interaction, choosing to prioritize personal connection will not just set us apart. I belief it is a moral imperative given the responsibility the donor gives us by trusting us with making the world a better place.
Have a great week,
Maarten
I bought a few cd's in that store when I lived in Rotterdam in 2000, so I guess we have met...